2) I studied myself

Outside of session I would practice the skills my therapist suggested and supplemented with a lot of my own experimentation and reflection. I read up on attachment styles and love languages to help me understand my interpersonal issues and romantic relationship conflicts. I dove into books on trauma, the brain, and the nervous system to help me understand and work with my emotions and my triggers more effectively.

I also spent time studying my “unique rhythm” and learning important information about myself like when my energy levels would naturally wax and wane throughout the day, my attention span, the type of movement my body enjoys, the foods that truly nourish me, my capacity for social interaction, and my sensory preferences. Intimately studying myself in this way and noticing how these elements would change throughout the week, month, and seasons of the year helped me to strategize and establish gentle routines that were and are best for me. Historically, I would have followed a pre-set fad routine I found online. However, taking the time to study and befriend myself has been my secret to maintaining more flow in life.

Over the last few years I’ve also started renovating my home to promote better mental health for my partner and I. Using what we know to be true about ourselves (like preferences around colours, lighting, and organizational needs) we’ve been able to create spaces that promote self-regulation.