8) I established my values & started living in them
In my experience, when the healing is good it continues to promote more healing and better health. Self-care is one of my personal values so choosing to do this work comes a little easier than it might for others. Then again, maybe you value things like family connection, or physical health, or personal growth – all of which require some engagement with self-care - with “the work”.
Discovering and living in my values (the traits, practices, and beliefs that govern how we want to exist or act in the world) has not only helped with identity formation but has also contributed to my overall sense of happiness and confidence. My values guide my routines and my rest. They also inspire my work and how I choose to grow and practice as a therapist. They help me communicate my boundaries and needs with others and allow me to connect with my emotions.
I used to regret not starting the healing process sooner, but then I turned to gratitude – I’m so grateful that I’ve done this work regardless of the timeline. My ego would love to announce that I’m “fully healed” but the reality is the healing process is infinite. As we get older, the meaning we derive from our experiences, including our traumas, changes. We reflect, we re-evaluate. We make sense of things in the context of the moment we’re in. I’m grateful that my healing journey began around the same time I was training to become a therapist. It allowed me to experience my education in profound ways and show up for my clients in unique ways. Performing some scheme of immaculate wellness would not only be a disservice to myself (and my inner child) but I imagine would make me a far less effective therapist.
