4) I embraced mindfulness skills & practiced gratitude

If you’re familiar with DBT therapy, you know that “D” stands for “dialectical” – taking a “dialectical approach” means fostering a dialogue between opposing thoughts or opinions. So, just because I was experiencing negative thoughts and emotions most of the time didn’t mean I was experiencing them all of the time. I learned that I could feel depressed and feel grateful for a small interaction I had with a friend. I could have a bad day and still be a good person. Becoming mindful and just recognizing negative thoughts (instead of letting them run wild in my mind) helped me create distance between the thought and myself. This allowed me to break the cycle of “splitting” (black and white / all or nothing thinking) and acknowledge more neutral if not positive features of my life.

In the beginning I was grateful for things like a nice sunset, a great meal, and a day off from school / work. It’s since evolved into something more expansive – I’m grateful for parts of myself, characteristics I’ve developed like my resilience and sense of responsibility – without those I wouldn’t be here. Gratitude is one of those practices that sounds frivolous but in fact packs a huge punch when it comes to rewiring our brains. It has significantly enhanced my sense of self-esteem and self-trust.